a week away

March 6, 2011

A week from today I will be waking up next to the love of my life, my best friend, my better half, my man who makes me want to be such a greater person and more excited about this life.  Just the idea that we are finally able to be together makes me so so happy.  I love him so much.  It still really feels too good to be true.  Surreal...I don't think it will hit me until we are actually able to stay together all night;) 

getting ready...

March 3, 2011

I got my hair practiced on for the wedding;) I love it. We're getting married in 9 days! I am so ready!  Maybe not to be a perfect wife or anything but just to get going on trying to be one.  Not perfect...actually I'm sick of that word. I just want a fun, crazy, beautiful marriage. 

the proposal

January 29, 2011
        Michael Joe proposed!  He asked dad for permission on Wednesday...nearly forgot to because he was so caught up in talking about working out...
       We had a really great morning. I went to the gym with mom and dad and I stayed for the cycling class which was intense and amazing!  After that Michael and I went to Pet Smart, (to look at the chameleon he wants) Barnes and Noble, Wal-Mart, Target and then Fuddruckers. Ostrich is out of season...I feel bad every time we've gone they don't have it!
         Then we headed to his house to pick up "Simpsons" for Stanley.  He came back to the car and said we had to go wait in a parking lot at the high school to give this lady her blood pressure gauge deal.  He said we had to wait for a red car...of course I believed him and didn't think it was a big deal.
        We parked in the parking lot right next to the football field...he cleaned out the back of his car a little bit and then asked if I wanted to run a lap. "Uh no! I did cycling today!"  So instead we walked on the track and talked about the past.  He then showed me where he was sitting the first time he saw me as I did some cheer moves on the track.  In my mind I was thinking the whole time that this would be SO perfect if he proposed! Right as I was thinking this he came over and tackled me to the ground and the grass was wet so I quickly stood up as he stayed on one knee and simply said "will you marry me?"  I cannot imagine a better proposal.  It was perfect and beautiful and it felt so good to finally say "yes!" and be officially engaged!

after my mission

Michael came to the airport to greet me with the rest of my family.  As soon as I saw him I knew he was the man I was going to spend forever with.  It was an overwhelming and beautiful experience, very calming.  I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father's direct communication with my soul in that moment.  

We saw a movie together.  He had every intention of taking things slow. I, however, could not help myself.  I held his hand. A couple of nights later I got the GREATEST kiss of my life.  I was shaking, overwhelmed that I was finally with him again. For FOREVER this time around:) 

Before Wicked

Playing in Target

?

He is Sir Hammish Hogwash here...murder mystery:)

July 9, 2010

It's surreal that Michael is a part of my life again. I am truly, madly, passionately in love with him again.  He is my miracle and I have never been happier or more grateful for anyone or any circumstance in my life.  I want to be his supportive wife:)

July 14, 2010

I love him more and more everyday.  He is such a beautiful example for me in every way. 

July 20, 2010

Beach boys concert with MJ. Happy concert! So fun to see such a range of people.

July 23, 2010

I love being with Michael...no matter what we are doing.

We saw Wicked in SF tonight. It was incredible!

September 12, 2010

Elder Scott spoke about eternal marriage tonight.  I just want to marry Michael tomorrow! I am more and more at peace with my decision and more and more excited everyday to get one day closer to being with him forever! 

October 8, 2010

MY FUTURE LIFE LIST

Raise happy, loving, confident kids

LOVE Michael Joe forever

Serve in the community

Teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ

October 22, 2010

I love Michael...he makes me want to be such a better more grateful daughter of God. 

.....

The rest of my last journal was filled with college happenings...nothing too wonderful and every once in a while I mention how long Michael had been gone and how much I missed him...


January 28, 2005
Michael has been on his mission for 7 months now! I miss him...a lot actually.
February 9, 2005
I dreamt of him last night.  He was home and called to ask me if I wanted him to come over.  I was so excited...when he got here I squeezed him really hard but he didn't squeeze me back at all.  His teeth were spread out and he'd lost a lot of muscle...weird. 
January 13, 2006
Today is Friday the 13th...I found two pics of Michael Joe and I in Lil's room.  I've been thinking about him a lot lately...
January 24, 2006 
Another odd dream. I was back in high school. I was walking around the soccer fields with a couple of friends and then lost them. Every time I would try to find them I'd see Michael Joe walking in a crowd of people and he'd always turn to look back at me.
March 15, 2006
Elder Michael Joe's bday was yesterday;) I fear being bigger than him when he comes home. I hope I'm not...I daydream about us getting married and going back to my class reunion and his and me being pregnant...I know pathetic right...it could happen, we'll see...

So during and in between this time I am dating another guy...yuck I don't even like writing that but it is what it is. Michael does want to be with me when he comes home but I am the confused, unsure one yet again!  I have made a decision to serve a mission when I turn 21.  So of course Michael moves on with his life...I move on with mine. We are moving in opposite directions for a time. There were many journal entries between March 2006 and January 2009...regrets, hopes, dreams, daydreams, wishing I could wake up to a different reality...and then one day I did. He was back in my life in January 2009:)
It was a major turning point for both of us. I left on my mission days after we got back in touch. Many letters of love later we were finally physically back together. Even then we had uncertainty with people outside of our relationship. That was tough...but we were both FINALLY on the same page! 

2003/2004

February 8, 2003

Michael called me early this morning to say happy anniversary first!  One year and 5 months! I'm so excited!  Track started this month but Michael and I only went one day...

February 16, 2003

Michael gave me the most beautiful promise ring! It has two golden hearts and two diamonds in the middle of them and two more on each side.  I love it!  (I still have it too;)

I made him strawberry cheesecake and gave him a bear and an I love you balloon and I love you chocolate!

We watched "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" together last night.  I love him so much! 

March 2, 2003 

I miss Michael so much on weekends:(

March 30, 2003

I haven't written for a while.  For Michaels birthday I got him 2 shirts, a bathing suit, a CTR ring, a body pillow and balloons and my mom made him banana cake.   The next day our whole family invaded his house.  We hung out and ate pizza and cake for 45 minutes;) 

Yesterday it was warm outside and Michael came over and we had water gun wars and he pushed me in the pool! 

MJ's graduation

The next few months Michael vanishes from my journal.  I didn't write for a couple months after his birthday and then we both go to BYU.  He goes for school.  I go for a 2-week dance camp.  I decide, yet again, that I should not have a boyfriend. 

January 19, 2004

Michael has been reading the Book of Mormon at a fast pace and says that he has a good understanding of it and I love that he is doing that and getting excited about going on his mission!

January 26, 2004

I am so thrilled Michael Joe has come this far.  I love him so much and I am so proud that he will be going on a mission soon.  He has been very spiritual these past few months and I'm so happy because he has taught me so much and has been a wonderful example of how I should be living my life in terms of reverence and reading my scriptures. 

March 14, 2004

Today is Michael Joe's birthday! Wow he is 19 years old! It's crazy...we met when he was 15!  He is going on a mission and I'm so proud and excited for him.  He put in his mission papers last week and he should know where he's going within 2 weeks.  My mom guessed West Africa, Dad-New York or Germany, Eldon-Russia, Harley said anywhere in Australia or above it.  My guess was Geneva, Switzerland only because I dreamt it. 

April 15, 2004 

Michael Joe got his call to serve in the Portugal Lisbon mission! We all guessed bizarre places yet this should have been expected! 

As I discussed this blog with my husband last night he denied the reality that I did, in fact, ask him to be my boyfriend again.  Luckily I keep a journal and there is proof in my old hot pink journal titled 'Everything I say is fascinating.' I do not claim that EVERYTHING I say is fascinating but in times like these when Michael says "let me look back in my journal to see if thats true..." that I can confidently laugh out loud at him and think to myself I shall prove you wrong baby! (with my simple recorded words)
So here are more of the facts...

August 26, 2002

I started school today, sophomore year.  I asked Michael back out on Friday night.  I made him cheese cake and bought him a cute card and a football pillow.  I am so happy I'm with him again. He looked so good today.  He started a different style this year, he's only going to wear tight shirts and baggy jeans and he looks good. 

August 27, 2002

Michael looked so good today!  Wow! He wants to be a TA for our Spanish class, but I don't want him to because we do presentations in there, and I know I could not handle him being in there!  We started seminary today...Michael is driving us everyday;) I'm so glad he is! 

September 30, 2002

I've been nominated for homecoming princess.  At the rally when they called me Michael Joe ran up and gave me a hug and swung me around, it was so cute;)  I'm so lucky to have such a great boyfriend.  He bore his testimony this Sunday. He is amazing. 

October 9, 2002

Michael and I talk about getting married and having fun for our whole life. He's so perfect and I'm in love with him! I don't think my life could be any better right now. 

December 29, 2002

Michael and I have known each other for a long time.  The first time he asked me out was April 30, 2001.  I can't believe we've known each other as long as we have and we're still together.  I have really grown to love Michael Joe and I want to marry him after he gets back from his mission.  

Things that I love about Michael Joe

funny

wants to choose the right

his testimony of the Gospel 

calmness

loves me no matter what

body

hotness

The story does continue...

back together...

When I was with him I could not bear the thought of not being his girlfriend so...

JOURNALS:

September 12, 2001

My life is great in high school so far.  Michael and I are together again.  They lost their first football game. He is #27;)  They played Dos Palos which is apparently the best team. 

September 14, 2001 

I went to Michael's second football game tonight! Awh he is the sweetest guy. I think I love him. He said every time he rubbed his helmet it meant he loves me!  He did it!  I love that boy so much.  He is awesome.  After his football game I hugged him and he got sweat all over me!  I kissed him too and he got sweat on my face! The game was so fun.  I had an awesome time watching my baby play!  I rode the bus to the game...I want to make a sign that says 'I love #27!' That would be so cute! 

sometime in September...

I didn't write about Powder Puff! The seniors won.  Michael coached the juniors.  He was having the worst day...he was mad at a few people and then got blamed for losing the game.  So at the end of the game I jumped on him and wrapped my arms and legs around him and kissed him all over his face and on his lips and told him that I loved him...he said he felt better after that;) 

October 4, 2001

Michael picked me up over his head today and said he was going to body slam me, but he didn't...of course;) I'm so in love with that guy!

October 26, 2001

Michael got hurt at the football game!  He got a stinger...whatever that means...and the ambulance came out and everything! I was sooo scared!

November 2, 2001

I'm so happy.  I'm 14 today.  Michael got me a pig keychain, socks and a barbie;) He's such a sweetheart;) 

sometime in December...

Michael Joe came over yesterday and gave me my Christmas presents!  He got carried away...he got a power puff girls blanket, a watch, and game.  He also bought me PINK perfume from Victoria's Secret.  

I got him a keychain that says 'I love you' on it, a beanie with Grumpy on it, a 27 shirt, a picture frame with our picture in it, and a coloring book with cats in it.  Then I got him the cutest card! On the front it said: Let me tell you about the man I want for Christmas...He's smart, he's funny, he's cute, he's sexy, he's warm

On the inside it says:  He's reading this card right now;)  

His mom got me lip smackers! How cute;) 

sometime in February...

For Valentine's day my boyfriend bought me a big white bear with hearts embroidered on its feet! Michael and I are on the track team together! 

March 8, 2002

Today is Michael and I's 6 month anniversary!  His birthday is this Thursday and I haven't even gotten him a thing, not even a card yet! 

April, 2002

Michael ran for spirt board and won.  For his speech he ran out in a cheerleading uniform and a green and gold face! I was totally shocked.  

He wants to check out the church! I'm so scared, excited, nervous and happy that he wants to, I'm also confused why he wants to join.  I've never told him that I was going to marry a Mormon so thats not the reason! I invited him to the Garden performance and he liked it a lot;)

April 28, 2002

On the 8th of May it will be our 9-month anniversary!! He is so fine. I love his neck and strong arms! He's depressed because he weighs less than his best friend and he's never weighed less.  Its funny! I can't wait until next year when he plays football!  I love watching him play! I'm also nervous though because I'm going to be cheerleading! I LOVE MICHAEL JOE!

SUMMER CAME....another heart break...I went to EFY....

August 24, 2002

I asked Michael out.

the beginning

This picture was taken on September 8, 2001. Our story, however, begins months prior to this.  In my own words, from my perspective this is how it began...

I was 13.  He was 15.  He went to football games on Thursday nights.  I happened to be a cheerleader.  He would tell me later that it was the light in my eyes that attracted him to me.  Through a chain of friends we came together in the cafeteria one morning to exchange pictures.  We hugged.  I thought he was attractive:) I was extremely shy.  We talked on the phone sometimes and I thought he had a "hot" voice.  Eventually we began "going out." The definition of Michael Joe and Hannah "going out" at this point consisted of meeting in the cafeteria in the morning (Hannah hardly saying a word) and then once more after school before the buses rolled in. 

MY JOURNAL ENTRIES:

April 30, 2001

I have a boyfriend.  His name is Michael.  He is portuguese and he plays on the football team.  And he's HOT (of course.)  

May 16, 2001

Today Michael left a rose and a ladybug that says "love bug" on it, in my 4th period  class. Awhhhh.  It was so sweet.  He's a really sweet guy.  He knows all of my standards and respects them.  One problem is he's not Mormon.  I really like him! I can't believe we're going out.  

May 24, 2001

My grade feels like its dropping in math! aaahh! Well, all of my classes are dropping.  I think it might be because I am too into Michael! I really need to balance everything out.

Michael says he has a surprise for me and won't tell me what it is!  Awwhhh he's such a sweetheart! I've found that I like Michael a lot and I invited him to a church dance when I turn 14! Aaaah...I can't wait! I told him he has to wear a tie and he says that is awesome.  He says any chance he gets to be with me he'll take.  

May 26, 2001

Michael and I wanted to see each other after school today.  I was waiting for him but a bus left and Jenny freaked out and dragged me to the bus.  We set down our stuff and asked Rita if we could say "hi" to someone, she told us to hurry.  When we got over there Cynthia said we just missed Michael, he had left to the crosswalk :(  I was sooooo mad and sad!! Cuz its the weekend and its a 3 day weekend! 

I decided (after Michael went through the silliness and humiliation of wearing a turtle neck in June to my 8th grade graduation just to make a good impression on my parents) to break Michael's heart for the first time when the summer began.  I felt bad.  The prophets always taught us that we should not be in serious relationships before the age of 16.  I wanted to heed that counsel.  I also wanted to be with Michael. 

JOURNAL:

Summer!!!

Michael and I broke up...I broke up with him because I feel like I shouldn't have a boyfriend right now.  I read in the NEW ERA magazine President Gordon B. Hinckley's words on dating he said if we shouldn't date then we shouldn't have boyfriend/girlfriend relationships before 16 either.  

to be continued...