July/August journals

Gwinna asks me a lot of questions. Today she asked what distracted means and the meaning of another word that I have forgotten already! I give my best definition to her but we almost always look it up.

Today as we drove to Wal Mart for new curtains (which I don't like and we are returning tomorrow) she asked what a sign meant. The one with a pedestrian crossed out. She is a very curious cat and it is a small and simple joy that I'm the human being in her life that gets to help her get answers.

I discovered today that I'm no better than my husband or mama in law (whom I always give a hard time about buying too much junk for the girls).

I bought them each a new blanket for their rooms as well as little bracelets and a ring that was cheap. It is nice to make them so happy and they are very sweet in the store....of course;)

Reading about living the minimalist life. Two rules "they" say: identify what's most important to you

Get rid of everything else

Problem though. If I did this my girls would be upset little monkeys at the end of the day and my husband may ask if we were robbed. Thing about me and stuff. I'm just not a big fan anymore. For me it really is quality over quantity. I would love one really amazing, expensive bedspread that I am in love with for the rest of my life rather than a new junky one that I kind of like every few years.

My 4-5 things that are most important to me.

My God (the whole Gospel)

My family MJ and babies

My family's health and safety

Working out

the beach

There are memories I know I need to record because I will forget...sadly it happens too quickly.

Noelle licks my face instead of kissing sometimes and I kind of love it. She makes me laugh every time and maybe that's why it continues;)

Noelle says "mommy I'm going to go Easter hunking" while holding her frozen bucket from Easter

She pronounces ghosts ghostes

That girl. She loves to make us laugh. She says "toilet" and "boobies" to get us going. She does not like to apologize but when she finally does it is "sorry butthead" with a funny little laugh. When we tickle her she has this sweet, muffled, trying-not-to-laugh type laugh and I LOVE it.

Gwinna needs a dance class. Working on that.

Today we did wal mart again. Got some blue cheap curtains to make my man happy:) vampire man. They do the job and I like them. Right as we get to the car I realize Noelle has toothpaste clutched in her sweet little hands holding it to her chest. Oops! Forgot to pay for that! So we twirled back around and came out with toothpaste and sour patch kids. I am a "sucker" as Michael so lovingly puts it. Yes, yes I am.

Writing gives me peace at the end of the day.

MJ met with ward mission leader and Bishop Silva today and I had to clean the whole house. Didn't have to but I can't relax when Michael isn't home in the evenings. Soooo I vacuumed the whole house, took out garbage, swept kitchen, cleaned up lots of ants and straightened every room- all to the sounds of Mwamma Mia soundtrack while girls jumped on the beds and tagged along (Noelle still gets a bit unnerved by vacuum) Then we tacked up their glow in the dark stars. They don't even work:( oh well we had fun doing it.

When Michael got home he said "oh the house feels so clean. I should leave more often...things get done." Ha! All in jest of course. He also mentioned how clean our SD apt always was. Yep. No kids yet;) I vacuumed almost everyday there and mostly I did it to make him happy but now I do it because it brings me peace at the end of the day:)

I love my life right now. I love where we live, the clean air, the beach, perfect weather, opening our windows everyday. I love how often I get to be with my husband. I would choose that man over every human being on this planet to hang out with 24/7.  Good thing I married him. I love being able to stay home with my babies and take care of them, teach them, try to nourish them;) I love all of the great healthy food we have access to. I love the playground right across the street. I love our new happy ward. I love my God for letting us be here and for blessing us in every way. I love Him for letting me be with my husband who spoils me like no one else can.  I I love His timing. I love that He gave me good tendencies and gifts and a great patriarchal blessing that I wear out because I cling to it.

more random gratitude

Michael discovered "power cakes" for us at Costco ... yeah I don't think I'll ever make pancakes from scratch again! We are ALL in love.

Cupcake dolls? Ha! Nostalgic just thinking about them. Vanilla scent.

Rediscovering rainbow chip frosting (and then realizing it's not nearly as good as I remember! Esp next to real frosting.)

Dancing in the kitchen with my girls. (James the Mormon, Adele, Sia)

Living so close to Trader Joes. 

What a great place. Bananas are 19 cents, they unload and bag your groceries for you, and they hide a cute stuffed dog named Pearl to keep your babies occupied while you shop AND give prizes if you find her!

 AND dark chocolate peanut butter cups😍

D & C 16:6

And now, behold, I say unto you, that the thing which will be of the most worth unto you will be to declare repentance unto this people, that you may bring souls unto me

I want to instill this into my daughters somehow. The most wonderful and valuable thing that can be done with our time, in our lives is to share the Gospel, declare repentance in humility and I need to be a better example of doing it

I learn from characters in my shows even. Downton abbey as of late. Both Bates and Anna suffer the most hardships of everyone yet they are always so patient, and kind and HUMBLE and long suffering during it all. Good human beings (fictitious yes, but those humans do exist)

Today I decided to do easy meals and the bare minimum. I decided to do a lot less and not stress about everything being back in its place. I only got 3 hours of sleep last night (all 3 sick babies) so there is my excuse but it was one of my favorite days. Here is why: I bonded with my girlfriends even more. I paid more attention to their sweet voices, faces, hands, wants and worries. They loved me at the end of the day. I yelled soooo much less! We read maybe 7 books together. I even got my lotion out and they gave me a leg and foot massage! Noelle is truly a natural. I played with their Shopkins and magnet dolls without worrying at all what my to do list looked like.  We watched Just Add Magic and thought about baking but decided not to (too much work for an easy day). We ate easy meals cereal, soup and dad made burgers. I didn't care what the kitchen looked like at the end of the day. It was freeing yet it also took a lot of effort not to put everything back in its place immediately.

Gwinna- Just turned 4 I love her adventurous spirit. Wild and a bit defiant but I love her!! Need to find a dance studio as soon as I can! Mostly such a great help!

Noelle- 2 years 7 months anxious about those teeth! Man! My mom thought I was a worry wart before...

Sweet voice, bossy girl, getting louder everyday! Copies everything Gwinna does. When they are getting along it is such peaceful magic and I LOVE those moments.

Sia- army crawling kinda. Drags her right leg behind a bit while crawling on left. A half way there crawler but getting anywhere she wants to be! 7 months. Such a chunky one and SO happy! Smiley, laughing chunk. She's gone back to not loving baths, loves balloons and wires that she isn't supposed to touch. Mamas girl. Eating solids. Loves sweet potatoes, carrots, apples, bananas definitely no peaches and not a huge fan of peas.

My heart is full right now even though I am not where I want to be spiritually or physically. My family is good and sweet and just more than I deserve. My Father is still there and also more than I will ever be worthy of. My Savior still forgives my many failings at the end of the long, crazy, loud days and in my quiet, often guilt ridden nights of pleading that He still will! He always does. I just have to ask.

My husband is the most inspiring, beautiful man. He makes it. He just does. He knows his goals, reaches, grabs, gets them and keeps going for more. Whether professionally, spiritually or physically. Such an example I NEED right now. I love him with every part of myself yet I don't show him enough or express it fully often enough!

1 Nephi 10:10 "lamb of God, who should take away the sins of the world."

Phil Robertson used this exact wording in a prayer on duck dynasty and I love it. It is perfect, direct, exactly what Jesus does and it is easy for my babies to understand that phrasing.

Nephi

I know that He Loveth his children

D & C 25

To Emma "where I am you cannot come"

Ugh those words are awful coming from our Father but they really are to each one of us. Unless we are obedient we cannot be where He is. It is just a simple line that breaks my heart and makes me sick to my stomach and feel like in every way I need to improve in more perfectly keeping the commandments. Because with all of my soul I want to rest where He is someday with my sweet, perfect babes and my husband.

Something to remember as I get impatient with my children..

 The Lord has determined the age of accountability to be 8.

Yep. I need to be so much kinder and more patient.

As a mother I am realizing how extreme God's patience has to be with us. After telling Gwinna for the millionth time not to try to pick up her baby sister Sia by herself I asked Gwinna "why do I have to tell you that over and over and over!?" Then I asked Michael "is this how God feels?" He laughed.

Yes! Except for no! Not really, because His patience transcends anything we can possibly fathom. He does not ask in a frustrated, end-of-His-rope tone why he has to repeat Himself so often. He is so much more loving than that. I am SO incredibly humbled and in awe and just feeling grateful that He is my main partner in all of this mothering business because I would not survive without learning what He would be doing if he were next to me moment by moment. God is good. So good. So much better...but us moms get to hold His hand daily as we learn from and try to teach our babies. Pretty awesome & humbling BUT still awesome!:)

Ok I need to start writing again. Journaling, blogging, recording life thoughts, impressions, feelings, the boring and the fun all of it!

Here's a confession. I just gave my toddlers dark chocolate covered raisinets before bed tonight. "Don't tell dad." I say... Gwinna, first thing after dad gets out of the shower "mommy just gave us a little bit of chocolate. Ha! I told on you"

Terd.

Another happening of the day quick Wal Mart run with Sia. A sweet new dad of a one month old asked where I got my sling. He circled around a bit as I was deciding between a 72% or 86% ghiradelli bar.  Sweet eyes, looked a bit tired and asked where I got "this thing" because the one they have has "all of these straps." I love people. Especially sincere, humble dads who are willing to ask questions and take care of their babies.

Good in the world is what I'm feeling tonight.

This past weekend. One of the best and we stayed in. Binge watched "stranger things" on Netflix. It was so odd and intriguing and we could not stop so we got dark chocolate PB cups and gave the girls jelly bellies and our phones and life was good:)

Last night was the first night Gwinna and Noelle slept in their own room:) It was wonderful sleeping with Michael  on our bed again. I slept well!

Michael and I are working out hard and eating much cleaner. He bought beets and will never do it again but I'm looking up ideas for making them a little less earthy flavored because they are so good for us.

I'm trying harder to live my own life. Phones are dangerous esp big beautiful iPhone 6's that you can scroll through all day! I like other people's feeds on Instagram and peaceful seeming blogs but I love my own most and I read it and realize I need to be better at writing more down because I love my life!!! Even the laundry. Another confession. Honest one is that I love ironing. I love to iron Michaels clothes. I feel like I'm really taking care of him when I do that for him.

I ramble when I write but I don't mind it. I'll love reading about these Random happenings and moments someday. I need them

I need to at least attempt to capture the craziness it is to be a mother of 3 baby girls. They are so precious and beautiful. They can drive me insanity! But they can also be the sweetest, softest, most helpful, shocking (in a good way) funny girls. My Gwinna helped me dry dishes the other day j came back from changing a diaper and realized shed also put them away in the right drawers.  It is an awesome, exciting feeling to teach my babies something new (even as simple as that) and realize they will now have it forever as a part of them.

Noelle (thanks to umizoomi really) recognizes almost all of the numbers. They say words and phrases that we don't even know they know.